My Wedding: Tilde Bang-Kristensen
She’s the kind of person who ALWAYS takes good care of others. When I went through my ectopic pregnancy, she was the one to come around on behalf of the Wine Club with magazines and pastry. When my baby was born, she came around with Wolt and iTunes gift certificates – and pick ‘n’ mix on behalf of the rest of the team. She makes a real effort to be compassionate, and Tilde and Anders always find room in their hearts and home for others. The two of them have hosted some of the best parties I’ve joined in the past few years, and the amount of joy emanating from their wedding was huge.
Name: Tilde Bang-Kristensen
Occupation: Radio presenter on P6 BEAT
Your and your husband’s first names: Tilde and Anders
For how long have you two been dating?
When did you get engaged?
It happened on New Year’s Eve, 2017, just before midnight. Anders had originally proposed to me in a Roskilde Festival inebriated state, and as much as I really wanted to marry him, I really didn’t think that a drunken proposal was the way forward, and rather than a yes, he got a, ‘mussi, now is not the right time to pop the question.’ On the bike ride home from the festival grounds, I explained to him that I really wanted to say yes, just not in a long island ice tea buzz.
I spent the following six months wondering when he’d then do it properly; the only problem was that it never happened! So, when the year was running out, I decided that if he wasn’t gonna do it before 2017 was over, I had to do it myself. At 11:50, when our guests were watching Dinner for One on a large screen, I pulled Anders into our bedroom, got him to sit down on the bed, and said something along the lines of how I had this New Year’s resolution of marrying him in 2018, and before I got any further, he got up, pulled a ring out of our dresser, went down on one knee and proposed to me, so it ended up in a 50/50 proposal and the best New Year’s Eve.
When did you get married?
What was your very first step towards wedding planning?
Well, on the morning of 1 January, I was super ready to start planning this wedding of ours; hungover Anders, less so. But the very initial step was to find a venue. We knew that we wanted to get married in 2018, and because of that, we were already far behind in the crazy wedding universe, where venues are often booked a year or 1.5 years in advance. Early January, I therefore started contacting a few interesting places right away, and by early February, the venue was secured.
Where did you find good inspiration?
Primarily through everyone whose wedding I/we had been attending. In the run of the past 3 years, we’ve probably experienced 10-15 weddings, and there has almost always been a detail or a way of doing things that made me think, if I ever get married, I would like that as well. So, we’ve stolen a bit here and there.
What were your primary dreams for the day?
We wanted for the party to be in Copenhagen, where most of our guests live, and where we live. We also really wanted to go sailing (something we ‘stole’ from another wedding, we’d attended), and then we didn’t want the space to be too pretty and polished.
Three words to describe the ambiance / style of the day:
Well-executed, lots of personality and hyggeligt.
What were the most vital aspects to you?
After checking out a few different venues, we realised that we wanted it all to be quite personal: we wanted to engage people we knew in managing the bar, preparing the food, creating the invites and DJ’ing, and we wanted to be able to make most of the decisions ourselves. Other than that, we wanted some action throughout the day; moving around a bit.
Who made your invites?
My friend Peter, who has a degree from the design school, and who has killer indesign and photoshop skills. We were a bit lost in terms of how we wanted them to look, and were five minutes from going with a Star Wars theme (Anders is a huge fan). However, we ended up with 8-bit wedding figures, inspired by cross stitch patterns and nintendo graphics, resembling the two of us, which we also used for the menus / place cards and song leaflet. A kind guy at Vester Kopi printed them for us.
How equally were the tasks distributed between the two of you? And did your friends / family assist?
Well, it’s kind of a wedding kliché, but throughout the planning phase I was probably the one who was on the most. Which is simply due to the fact that I really love planning and spending lots of time getting small details right. I just asked Anders, how he’d put the percentages, and he said 70/30, which I think is pretty accurate. However, in the final few weeks leading up to the wedding, when everything was a bit more practical and tangible, we both did equally as much. Both sets of parents came and helped the day before, an invaluable support, and several of our friends had tasks on the day itself.
What didn’t go quite as planned?
Nothing really, actually. We revised everything several times before the big day to make sure that everything was taken care of and that the various tasks on the day itself were assigned in order for us to just be able to enjoy it all and have fun with all of our guests.
The day itself:
Where did you sleep the night before and with whom?
I ‘slept’ at home in our flat, with Anders. Neither of us can sleep without the other, why we knew that we both wanted to sleep at home that night. The fact that I didn’t sleep until 2am, because my brain was buzzing, and we both woke up at 6am is another story.
Did anything make you nervous?
Thinking about whether it would be raining, whether the cakes would arrive on time, whether there were enough drinks, whether it would start raining, whether I’d be able to relax and enjoy it, whether the welcome drinks would be prepared when we got to Pumpestationen, etc. I had loooots of concerns, but when we reached the day itself, and I saw Anders in his handsome suit, they all disappeared.
How was the weather? And did it make a difference?
The weather actually turned out to be really good. It was a bit grey, and it also started drizzling a tiny bit on the guests before the ceremony, but after that it cleared up and became a quite gorgeous day. Of course, it would have been gorgeous no matter what, but seeing as we had planned a lot of the activities to be outdoors, we were very grateful that the first autumn day of the year turned out to be nice.
To which song did you walk down the aisle?
To Du Kom Med Alt Det Der Var Dig, written by Jens Rosendal, which was also the first song we sang at the ceremony. When the ceremony was over, my friend Morten played God Only Knows by Beach Boys, pure Love Actually moment!
Did you do anything special around the ceremony?
We always knew that we wanted a civil wedding and that we didn’t want it to be at city hall, as everything is wrapped up so quickly over there. Instead we picked our backyard as the location, with a wonderful solomniser, Amia. Our backyard is so spacious and green, and as we wanted to keep everything within walking distance, it was perfect for the ceremony (apparently, a lot of our neighbours were watching from their balconies, something I didn’t even notice). My friends had been there in the morning and decorated the place with white pennants and put up benches, transforming it into a very special room to step into; just so lovely. It was important for me that we got to sing a few songs so my friend Morten played the piano and we sang three favourites from the Højskolesangbog (ed. a folksy Danish song book; Tilde was at Testrup and very engaged in the community aspect of it, why the song book means so much to her!).
What did you do straight after the ceremony?
After the ceremony, we all walked down to Fisketorvet – Copenhagen Mall, where our reception boat was waiting. We had hired a tourist vessel, which took us around the canals of Copenhagen for two hours, while we were eating strawberry cakes and drinking sparkling wine to the sound of music playing. After that, we returned to Fisketorvet and walked down to Pumpestationen, where we had welcome drinks with small homemade crisp bags followed by dinner at long tables and party.
Which venue did you pick for the party?
Something called Pumpestationen, which is right by Dybbølsbro Station between the two train tracks. We discovered the venue via a website called Rentspace, which has gathered lots of locations in Copenhagen and the surrounding areas – very neat! On top of that, they are very sweet and helpful, even after the seventh annoying-wedding-question email. We picked Pumpestationen because it’s a space that didn’t resemble any other space we’d seen. It had a beautiful raw quality to it, and then it had this functional crane, which we were able to hang a 60 cm diameter disco ball from – the dream!
Apart from the crane, it came with tables and chairs and tableware and a small pantry with coffee machines and an industrial dishwasher, and that was about it. We decided to go with alternative tableware from A Table Story, and hired Brink Bryllup to take care of setting the table and taking care of flowers, when, 14 days before the wedding, we found out that the venue actually was ours from Friday to Monday. We took care of getting drinks, snacks, decorations etc. ourselves. H15 (ed. restaurant in the Meatpacking District) did the catering, another detail we’d ‘stolen’ from another wedding, i.e. our MC couple’s wedding, where the brother of the groom, Johannes, who is part of H15, was in charge of the food.
How many guests were invited?
Just around about 90 for the ceremony and 71 for the dinner and party.
Your best moment?
Oh, there are so many! But the biggest, which actually surprised me a little, was walking down ‘the aisle’ in our backyard for the ceremony. Anders was standing there with quivering cheeks and tears in his eyes, when I came towards him, and as soon as I saw that, I started crying and laughing out loud simultaneously. Totally oblivious to guests and the beautiful decorations until we started singing the first song, I was just so deeply touched by the entire situation.
Which moments stand out?
The ceremony, confetti galore, sparkling wine on the boat, welcome drinks in the sunshine, the food, the insanely good speeches and toasts, disco ball, dance and lots more.
Best pieces of advice?
Hiring a videographer to document the day. I think that Anders and I both found it a bit much at first, but after having watched the two videos more than twenty times, we are so happy that we decided to spend money on it.
What would you do differently?
Nothing really. I think that the day turned out just as it was supposed to. Perhaps a bit less wino during the dinner?
What did you get and give as a morning gift?
Oh yes, the morning gift. We had actually agreed not to get each other anything, but both of us still ended up doing it. Mine was purchased in a bit of panic the week before (sorry, Anders), but I have him a few things to wear: a golden earring from Maria Black and a perfume from CDG. Anders gave me a fresh water pearl and necklace.
Wise words of the bride:
Hire a videographer as well as a photographer – you won’t regret it.
Be inspired by other weddings.
Ask for help! Your friends and family are most likely happy to help as much as they can, and in the often times quite crazy process of planning a wedding it really is worth gold.
Remember to talk to each other. A wedding can be quite stressful for your relationship, as everything suddenly revolves around all kinds of admin and responding to emails and buying things. Check in with each other and find out how the other person is doing. We had a chat like that during the last weekend before the wedding, and it was really nice to discuss how we both felt about having to give a speech to each other and this monster of a party that we had been organising.
Start dinner at 5:30pm at the latest. It may seem a bit early, but a wedding dinner is often quite long, and rather than stressing, I think it’s better to have more time at the other end, as it enables you to start dancing earlier! There were 19 speeches or other activities at our wedding, which didn’t even feel stressful thanks to great planning by our MCs and starting dinner early.
If you can, take some time off after the wedding. It’s such a wild and grand day, and you need some time to digest it all. We decided to go to Paris on the Monday, and we didn’t feel normal until Wednesday.
And to all of the wedding guests: ask if you may see the wedding videos / photos and talk about the party once it’s over; you really appreciate that as a bridal couple, as you stay in the wedding buzz for a while.
What did you wear?
The dress was made by my friend, Lærke Koldskov, who is a trained designer, I ordered the veil via Etsy from some bridal boutique in New Jersey, and the shoes were Gucci. Later, I changed into a white suit from Arket.
What did he wear?
Anders wore a suit from Maison Margiela, shirt from Cos, vintage tie from Kenzo, which was replaced with his dad’s wedding butterfly for the party and shoes from Dr. Martens.
Who did the makeup?
My friend Lærke’s talented stylist-friend, Emilie Aaagard Andersen.
Your ‘something new, old, borrowed and blue’?
Something new: dress, veil and shoes
Something borrowed: a jade stone from my friend Mads, which symbolises friendship, love and marriage
Something old and blue: my engagement ring, which is set with blue stones and used to belong to Anders’ great-grandmother.
Made by Handcrafted CPH. The gold used for the bands came from Anders’ grandmothers bracelet.
Bridal bouquet and boutonnière?
One of the first things I knew for sure where to source, i.e. from Thilde aka. Poppykalas. She is so incredibly talented and expressive, and even though she’s also quite a bit more expensive than most, I really don’t regret it. So many people complimented my bouquet, and it will soon feature on a poster in our home.
Where and when did you tie the knot?
In our Vesterbro backyard at 1pm.
Pumpestationen in Vesterbro.
DJ/Band to recommend?
Some of my friends/colleagues from DR were DJ’ing.
As you may have noticed by now, quite a few people who were either close or peripheral friends were in charge of different things, something we valued highly, and the same goes for this category. The photos were shot by Simone Astrid Schødts-Sørensen, my friend’s friend, whom I met several times before the wedding. We wanted a lot of candid shots and less of the very posing kind, something Simone solved to perfection.
The videos were made by Anna Bruun Nørager, whom I know through my best friend Mads. She made two really nice videos, one from the ceremony and reception and then one from the dinner, and both of them capture the day so perfectly.
Where and when was your honeymoon?
We went straight to Paris for five days. We actually wanted to go to Mexico, but it turned out that we’d hit the rainy and stormy season so we decided to postpone the trip to november and then do a shorter trip to Paris straight after (ed. they left for Mexico last Sunday!).